The Woodlands TS executive board has elected to hire a $100,000 consultant to study new security plans for the Mall.

It has been determined that they will replace the $55,000 music in the very expensive fountain with music from The Dirty Harry Movies and a Fist Full of Dollars.

Clint Eastwood is being brought in to teach the Horse Patrol how to dress as the Drifter. With the large cowboy hat and a serape, no one will know they are unarmed.

Upon finding a bad guy they will ask him, “Do you feel lucky punk, Well do you”? Your asking yourself is he armed or is he not. In the background you’ll hear the chimes from the gun fight.

It is estimated that the music and the training will cost 1.2 million.

For the residents they are bringing in Steven Segal Deputy Sheriff to teach martial arts. This will be done during a lunch meeting.

The cost will be about 2.5 million. This lunch and training will be done in the park by the KOI pond.

The marketing benefit will be huge. There will be autographs and horse petting for the kids.

The board expects that they will be able to buy another award that they can place a picture in the paper and magazines with Nelda and her red jacket.

Please vote for the sitting board so we can spend more of your money on marketing.